- Jan 20, 2011
- 22
- 1
Kind of noticed the writing area is kind of down, so I'll help it out ^^. I like any nice suggestions to help improve my writing. Please note the prologue doesn't tell much chapter 1 will.
Prologue:
Night blanket the world of istya with it's black color across the sky most people were asleep and the only source of light were small lights in the cities of the world.Well expect a old city of Killa an once great city noone no longer lived in this city or even traveled through it.
Expect one...
That was a girl by the name of Kison whom jumped from building to building, her feet creating small damage on the buildings as she leaped to each one as if running. The buildings were in poor condition, suggesting this was a run down part of the city as Kison continued to jump from each building. The girl had long blue hair that went down her back, her gray eyes piercing what was ahead of her. Kison wore what appeared to be a worn down basic traveler outfit, it was torn from use as a black cape floated behind her it appeared to have stars inside it, as if it were the universe itself. Two smaller beings stood on each of Kison's shoulders, one had the appearance of a crow, the other was a floating eyeball, the crow looked and shouted in alarm, it's red eyes widening. "Here it comes!" A voice shouted to Kison whom clenched her teeth in reaction toward the warning. A loud roar came behind her, an object made of darkness came down toward her giving her only a few seconds to react. It was almost as if the night itself was attacking her, darkness continue to stab at her destroy the rooftops as she jumped away.
"Why didn't you go to a city where there people?" The eye asked, looking at Kison with concern. "Your in a run down city noone lives here..you made yourself the only target." Kison shook her head. "I can't risk people lives you two!" She shouted as she landed on another roof top. The eye made a sound, no it was a groan. "Yeah, and your asking to become a nothing, a lie is that what you want?" It asked, Kison didn't answer clearly ignoring the question. The unknown attacker threw a dark tendril Kison's way, the girl stopped in pace and turned to face the attack as it got into range.
Kison's hands transformed into two giant claws as they grabbed the tendril and pulled on it. "We can't fight this thing..yet.." Kison muttered. "It'll kill us.. we got to get away.." With that in her mind, she threw the attack off to the side and quickly vanished and reappeared a little ways away, back to retreating from it. Kison jumped off the building once she reached the end and landed onto the street as the attacker appeared above her as nothing but darkness. "Run, you baka!" The crow shouted to her. Kison normally would've punched it but had no time and kept running. The girl came onto a four way alley, she looked around and sighed. "Great, just great..." She muttered. The roar and shaking ground would inform the girl, she didn't have time to sit there and think. Shrugging, Kison toke the left path the two beings sat on her shoulders as black mist followed them, going in all the directions. A warning in the back of Kison's mind nagged at her, telling her she picked the wrong way, this was confirmed when she almost ran into a dead end. "Good job." The eye and crow said in union, Kison glared at them. "Shut up..I don't see you helping..but luckily I was prepared for this.." Kison narrowed her grey eyes turning around to face the enemy, when the darkness came down the ally toward them. The two beings looked toward the girl wondering what idea she had cooked up in her brain.
Kison toke something out of her belt which was a potion, the girl turned around toward the dead end wall as she threw the potion toward the wall. The vital broke against the wall, opening a portal. Without hesitating Kison jumped through it.. The portal closed behind her, the darkness gave a roar in anger covering the location.
End of Prologue chapter, I'll do chapter 1 next reply.. ^^ Tell me thoughts, suggestions, I hope I get some readers. Please note however this chapter doesn't tell what's going on chapter 1 will so please no comments about it not telling much about the characters or what's going on yet, chapter 1 will do that.
Prologue:
Night blanket the world of istya with it's black color across the sky most people were asleep and the only source of light were small lights in the cities of the world.Well expect a old city of Killa an once great city noone no longer lived in this city or even traveled through it.
Expect one...
That was a girl by the name of Kison whom jumped from building to building, her feet creating small damage on the buildings as she leaped to each one as if running. The buildings were in poor condition, suggesting this was a run down part of the city as Kison continued to jump from each building. The girl had long blue hair that went down her back, her gray eyes piercing what was ahead of her. Kison wore what appeared to be a worn down basic traveler outfit, it was torn from use as a black cape floated behind her it appeared to have stars inside it, as if it were the universe itself. Two smaller beings stood on each of Kison's shoulders, one had the appearance of a crow, the other was a floating eyeball, the crow looked and shouted in alarm, it's red eyes widening. "Here it comes!" A voice shouted to Kison whom clenched her teeth in reaction toward the warning. A loud roar came behind her, an object made of darkness came down toward her giving her only a few seconds to react. It was almost as if the night itself was attacking her, darkness continue to stab at her destroy the rooftops as she jumped away.
"Why didn't you go to a city where there people?" The eye asked, looking at Kison with concern. "Your in a run down city noone lives here..you made yourself the only target." Kison shook her head. "I can't risk people lives you two!" She shouted as she landed on another roof top. The eye made a sound, no it was a groan. "Yeah, and your asking to become a nothing, a lie is that what you want?" It asked, Kison didn't answer clearly ignoring the question. The unknown attacker threw a dark tendril Kison's way, the girl stopped in pace and turned to face the attack as it got into range.
Kison's hands transformed into two giant claws as they grabbed the tendril and pulled on it. "We can't fight this thing..yet.." Kison muttered. "It'll kill us.. we got to get away.." With that in her mind, she threw the attack off to the side and quickly vanished and reappeared a little ways away, back to retreating from it. Kison jumped off the building once she reached the end and landed onto the street as the attacker appeared above her as nothing but darkness. "Run, you baka!" The crow shouted to her. Kison normally would've punched it but had no time and kept running. The girl came onto a four way alley, she looked around and sighed. "Great, just great..." She muttered. The roar and shaking ground would inform the girl, she didn't have time to sit there and think. Shrugging, Kison toke the left path the two beings sat on her shoulders as black mist followed them, going in all the directions. A warning in the back of Kison's mind nagged at her, telling her she picked the wrong way, this was confirmed when she almost ran into a dead end. "Good job." The eye and crow said in union, Kison glared at them. "Shut up..I don't see you helping..but luckily I was prepared for this.." Kison narrowed her grey eyes turning around to face the enemy, when the darkness came down the ally toward them. The two beings looked toward the girl wondering what idea she had cooked up in her brain.
Kison toke something out of her belt which was a potion, the girl turned around toward the dead end wall as she threw the potion toward the wall. The vital broke against the wall, opening a portal. Without hesitating Kison jumped through it.. The portal closed behind her, the darkness gave a roar in anger covering the location.
End of Prologue chapter, I'll do chapter 1 next reply.. ^^ Tell me thoughts, suggestions, I hope I get some readers. Please note however this chapter doesn't tell what's going on chapter 1 will so please no comments about it not telling much about the characters or what's going on yet, chapter 1 will do that.
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