So about relationships . . .

[zetacross]

Because I'm a virtually a lifeless soulless antisocial hikikimori robot, I generally have problems with improving relationships. So i just want to know how would you improve relationships between :

A friend ( same sex )
A friend ( opposite sex )
Someone you have a crush on
Close family member
Workplace colleague/associate
Someone from internet ( aka here )

I've seen in movies and games that gifts can improve relationships. But for this day and age, what to girls/guys like ( that isn't on a computer screen )?

 

[psychia]

How would you improve relationships between :

1. A friend ( same sex )

Constant communication. Talking helps. Being a good listener is a great advantage.

2. A friend ( opposite sex )

Really careful exchange of words. There are certain topics like sex that should not be discussed.

3. Someone you have a crush on

Oh boy. Well, in my case, pretend that I don't have a crush on him.

4. Close family member

By not minding his/her business but still being there to listen to his/her troubles.

5. Workplace colleague/associate

Spending good times with them. Some drink with their co-workers, I prefer coffee breaks. Still, I value personal space.

6. Someone from internet ( aka here )

Hmm. I think one has to be friendly. Politeness and respect for another is important since you don't really know the person (You think you know, but you have no idea?) Tralalala.

~

But for this day and age, what do girls/guys like ( that isn't on a computer screen )?

Girls: I can't say I'm a good representative to give you a right answer. What "I" would say though is... snail mail. <3 Seriously. Try it. Haha <3

Boys: Once again, I'm out of my league. I'd like to think boys still like honesty. There are plenty of liars out there, online or otherwise.

 

[zetacross]

Thanks a lot for your opinion, don't know why it's so deserted here. Mostly the last question really answers the lingering question ~ what do people like nowadays?

 

[psychia]

what do people like nowadays?

Porn, mediocre issues, goddamn soap operas and technology.

Yeah it is kinda deserted, but still, seems cozy enough. :3

 

[Checkmate]

I apologize for the lack of discussion and stuff but it's a part of our strategy, unfortunately.

With some modification for the list above, this is how I treat everyone in my life (nope, not improving relationship or anything):

1. A friend ( same sex )

Little communication, I don't care about them, and I rarely rarely do any favor, or helping them. This doesn't include childhood friend situation, which I often do some favor.

2. A friend ( opposite sex )

A bit more communication, talking about everything, sex included. This does not include girlfriend nor fiancee however.

3. Someone you have a crush on

I don't have crush on girls, not anymore, if I do, pretend like I don't, and avoid any contact with them.

4. Close family member

They have an absolute trust, therefore, I'd listen to them, help them, or anything. This only include parents and immediate siblings. This does not include any relatives.

5. Workplace colleague/associate

As a junior executive, I have earned a lot of respect, so it the relationship was kinda awkward, hard to get close to them, unforunately when I'm being their superior.

6. Someone from internet ( aka here )

Depends, most of them being a retarded, though those I know, aren't. Therefore, I'm being extremely picky and selective of who I'd make friends over the internet.

7. Girlfriend/Fiancee/Potiential partner.

Since I'm not a fan of having an overnight relationship, therefore, I treat every relationship as dead serious. With that said, I have an extremely complicated ranking system and communication. Though, being very special I know that I act like an eroge protagonist, and such strategy somehow net me a lot of attraction from the girls.

For those that I'm not interested in, I do not reject them, rather, I play with their feeling, pretend that I don't understand their feeling, though give them no chance to advance and little room for mis-understanding.

For those that I'm interested in, she will have to go through a qualification test, which is sweet and bitter. I will also pretend that I don't understand her feeling, though, give her chance to advance. If she takes it well, then she might make me to fall for her, which is very very tough for an eroge player like me I'd say.

 

[zetacross]

Wow, you sound . . . like you're playing for "checkmate". =D

 

[Checkmate]

Oh, I forget another point:

As eroge teach me: to be swift - therefore, relationship stage is pretty short to me, one month for kissing, 2nd month = all sort of fun and foreplays, 3rd month... I haven't done the third month, but it's all the way as a typical pure love eroge.

 

[Pinkylicious]

this is also not to improve relationships but this is also how I live.

1. Friend (same sex)
I usually am not that type of girl who would put on make ups have too much vanity or such but I do have friends which are girls and I'm more on the listening side.. That's how I gain their trust. Spending time with them would help. :)

2. Friend (opp. sex)
I think I have more friends which are boys. Again they appreciate the listeners more than the blabbers. I like to argue with them. Lol. I think most guys have mentioned my character to be weird because they say they can't predict my moves. I on the other hand have given many advice to boys' relationships that I tend to kinda "know" them.

3. Crush
I don't distance myself to my crush. In fact, if I have a chance, i'd befriend him so I can get to know his character.. After that I will either appreciate him more or otherwise. I know a good man even if he acts otherwise and getting to know them enables me to truly uncover then. ;)

4. Family
Don't break their trust. They may get demanding sometimes but then you just gotta accept what kind of family you have. Other than that, no further comment. :P

5. Workplace/colleague
Spend sometime with them. Your character is defined by your friend? Not all the time. You just gotta know when or not to be influenced.

6. Internet
You just gotta be yourself. Many would like to pretend to be their "ideal" character in the internet but I don't get why. You always have a choice who you can be in real life. You can never ever please everybody so what's the point of being someone you're not? Somewhere, there will be someone who can accept you for who you are. Cyberspace socialization is still different from real life socialization and by that I don't mean meeting the standards of others but letting others know about you. Everything changes and so is our character. We're all different and unique and that's something worth appreciating. ^^ I believe in cyberspace honesty because it's their conscience anyway.

What girls like?
Well personally i don't like "I-am-perfect" guys.. Sometimes I find others' weakness more cute than their strengths. I like guys who can say things directly to me than those who try to divert things at first I instinctively reject guys like that. :p

What boys like?
Some would like to tease who they like, have man talks and talk about other girls, man talks are never exposed or you're marked as a betrayer, they would have someone they love and still talk about liking another girl but still remain loyal to the girl they love. Boys who like "S" have been badly hurt in their past. Guys who proudly say they are committed tends to be not sometimes. :p

In the end, I think boys and girls like in general someone who will not tie their neck's up but give them honesty and care plus sufficient freedom. ;)

 

[whitleyo]

for me, it doesn't matter which kind of relationship you're having. whether it's with someone from the same sex, from the opposite sex, or someone who isn't quite sure yet which gender he/she belongs to. it doesn't matter if it's an officemate, a classmate, a family member, or a random stranger.

what i'm trying to get at is that you should break down the stereotypes and respect all people equally. say, if you have a crush on someone and you're very sweet and good and respectful to them but then he or she catches you being mean to someone else. do you think he or she would think you're a good person? no. he or she would think you're just putting on a show whenever you're together. so, just try to be genuinely nice to all living creatures.

 

[Perplexing]

A friend ( same sex )

I don't have many friends these days as I spend most of my time with my boys. For the few that i do have when I can I make sure that i stop by there place and just hang out and talk. In some cases i connect with them over the phone or via email as we all are family men so we don't always have time to catch up in person. Even if your antisocial (which honestly I'm more of a home body than one to go out all the time) just connecting with them via a phone call or an email or the dreaded Facebook :@ can do wonders for your relationship with them.

A friend ( opposite sex )

Pretty much the same as with my guy friends. I find myself being more of a listener with the opposite sex than anything as I've always been the type to be there for my friends. Through out my life I would say I have been friends with more women than men.

Someone you have a crush on

I've been married for almost 9 years to a woman that was a crush. For her I treated her like a person, I didn't go out of my way to shower her with gifts or devote all my time with her, however I made it a point to treat her with kindness. I made it a point to be myself and not someone I wasn't in an attempt to impress her. I think the biggest problem I've seen with my friends is they act like someone they are not and because of that it only hurts their relationships.

Close family member

This is kind of a tough one for me as I'm not real close with any of my family. I would say the same applies to them as a good friend. You just need to made it a point to spend time with them, connect via the phone or email as well. Also be a listener as well as an adviser when they need it.

Workplace colleague/associate

Again I'm sounding like a broken record here but same goes with them as a friend. The few I actually hang out with and consider to be good friends were at some point a coworker.

Someone from internet ( aka here )

I find that irc's, messengers, forums are the ways to get closer to a great number of individuals. When I first started with ircs a little over a year ago I found that I enjoyed them far more than I did when I used to spend a lot of time via Yahoo chat rooms. I've met some wonderful people through ircs and forums, I've even met a few of them in person. One of my best e-friends is a guy whose 18 years old and damn near the complete opposite of me in our thought/belief processes and yet we get along so well.

Main thing is just be real. There is no sense in being someone you are not just because you're behind a computer screen. Be respectful and just relax and talk about anything and everything whether you have a lot or very little in common you'd be surprised how just being kind to someone via an irc channel or a forum can brighten there day.