I should just study right now instead of wasting time on the internet. I'm sick of a lot of things already. There is just so much negativity on the internet and yet I'm still managed to stomach them till this day.
I'm tired and just want to sleep but not in the mood of it. As if I'm punishing myself for obscure reason.
I don't really want the Virtual Youtubers to cater to English-speaking fans. This is selfish of me but it is just too annoying to see them spamming on the superchat, some certain foreign communities are extremely toxic in many ways, and it is hard to put out good contents when you have to dumb down them so that foreigners can understand it. Please Shigure Ui, don't cater to the foreigners. You are the first, the best and the only vtuber I watched enjoyably. Though it is still endearing to see them try to communicate, clumsily, in foreign language.
I haven't played properly a single eroge for a very long time due to lots of things happened irl.
Don't know how much bare English I have to learn to be enough for works? Nearly ten years up and down with the language and yet my proficiency is not better than my former classmate. Don't know how can people have so much energy to learn it while I just got fed up with it in the high school. Maybe because they genuinely like it and maybe they aren't forced to learn it for dumb reasons like myself. I for one will just try to learn enough of it to make money. If it is enough it is enough.
How much money do I need in this life? I don't think I need much to have a decent life. But my life is not controlled by my own volition.
I wish I could enjoy things as much as before. I wish I had a lot of time. There are just too many things to do in life and yet I just waste time on worthless things because of fear of time-wasting, paradoxically.
It is hard to have a true friend or soulmate. But one should just try to make friends regardless. I used to look down on the concept of "friendship" and wonder why I should try to make friends when they are bad persons and I'm not close to "the friends" more than a formal level anyway. Now I think about it everybody just don't seem to have that kind of thoughts like myself (I used to think that it is less worthwhile to be friend with people who are not going to be your very good friend or people who are "bad" [imperfect])
I used to question myself the meaning of life a lot. I should have ask myself how to survive it instead, same question but more precise anyway.