[LPW #193] This Is Magic

[Umbra Mortis]

Wear a wig of cows.

 

[CowSlayer69]

I read that the senate rejected the bill in the newspaper this morning.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

Black women are always divas.

 

[CowSlayer69]

Creditors often receive some money from bankruptcy proceedings, but stockholders rarely do.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

My dad is a man.

 

[CowSlayer69]

I was being followed by a shark so I lost myself swimming for my life.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

Street sharks.

 

[CowSlayer69]

I'd like to write a novel about a guy who has an abnormal obsession with money.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

Write a novel about me.

 

[CowSlayer69]

They export a lot of animals like lions, tigers, and bears.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

Date me tonight

 

[CowSlayer69]

We need to save up some funds before we can start a big business.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

That business is a lawn.

 

[CowSlayer69]

The government will be replaced in this election.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

The government of cows

 

[CowSlayer69]

I gave up my dream to become an astronaut because I couldn't stand the pressure.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

The gift card is on the gift card

 

[CowSlayer69]

I might have gotten food poisoning from the pork I had for lunch. I feel so sick. Is it okay if I'm out of the office for the rest of the day?

 

[Umbra Mortis]

That's cuz you ate pork fries

 

[CowSlayer69]

Mulberries, apples, and walnuts taste best when they're combined.

 

[Umbra Mortis]

Really wanted to talk