Polyamory and monogamous opinions

Do you think you can live with a Polyamory partner?

  • If thats what my partner wants.[yes]

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • As long as my partner is loyal to US.[yes/no]

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • It depends, But I will try for OUR sake.[no/yes]

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    3

LioNeeZ

Little lion man
Elite Member
Dec 23, 2012
3,844
95
Hello guys, I hope you are all well.
Recently I seen a documentary about Polyamory families[Families that have more than 2 parents in simple words] and It got me thinking, because they did raise some good points but the idea of that in my opinion is kind of weird and hard to get used too for me at least.
Well I was stunned that some people can live with that, I will admit at this point this kind of life is unconformable and I really dont know how to think about all this.
Soo I would like to start a post about this and hear opinions about this matter, so what do you think about this subject guys?
:goodtea:
The options In the poll are like that cause I dont want to lump everything in the "maybe", its to gray for me if you know what I mean =P
 
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When someone got into a relationship with another person, especially a relationship with considerations of building a family, was that person considering the possibilities of having another partner besides the one they chose?

Let's say that there are three people: X, Y, and Z. X is in a relationship with Y, but eventually courts and gets into a relationship with Z as well. Since this is a polyamory case, we'll assume the relationship is truly "polyamorous" and that both Y and Z are aware of, and consent to, X having a relationship with both of them at the same time. If the answer to the previous question is yes, that means X entered the relationship with thoughts of having another partner, whether as a fallback just in case X gets bored/unsatisfied with Y or whatever X's reasons might be.

By the very nature of such a relationship, Z as the 'new' partner―in quotes because X might very well have considered Z before X even got into a relationship with Y―is 'secondary'. This means that X entered a relationship with Y with thoughts of making Z a 'secondary', because otherwise, X would've chosen Z first before Y. Similarly, X also had thoughts of, and was okay with all the consequences of, making Y―supposedly a partner X chose for building a family with―no longer feel that Y is special, that Y is the only one.

On the other hand, if the answer is no, that means there was something in the relationship between X and Y that made X desire for or even feel necessary to have a second partner. This could be an internal factor such as Y's inadequacies to accommodate to X's needs (or "satisfy", which, by the way, I consider a very demeaning and condescending way to look at Y's role to X. Is Y a partner for X, or is Y a maid, a slave?) or a quarrel between X and Y, as well as an external one such as X getting charmed to Z or old feelings blooming again as a result of X meeting Z after having been out of touch for years.

Whatever the cause, X failed to fulfill their end of the bargain.

So, no. It is my belief that a relationship needs to go both ways, with both partners involved being on equal footing: if one of them desires to have a third person, they're asking that their status be elevated, that they be put on the higher end of the bargain, that they be allowed to have a third person whereas the partner must stay loyal. (If the partner also wants to bring another person to the table, they may as well cancel that relationship right away).

I know that polyamorous types don't think that monogamy or loyalty to just one person is necessary for a long-term, committed relationship. I disagree. In my view, love is divine, while lust is mortal. While you're often not in control over how, when, why, where, and to whom you fall in love, a desire for a third party in a relationship you've already established―which are often (yes, not always, I'm aware) born out of lust, or greed, which isn't that much different―comes from yourself.
 
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