- Status
- May 22, 2012
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*ehehe* That's fine. Every vote helps. Would have been nice to see if any of the contenders could turn it around. But unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. Thanks for your vote Ein.
Now I'll just have to proof read my evaluation.
Now I'll just have to proof read my evaluation.
- Apr 5, 2012
- 14,986
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- Nov 18, 2011
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hi kuki~
- May 22, 2012
- 16,379
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Oh My le Chupacabra God, Sam has more than 2x the number of votes Viet has!
Not sure, but I think kuki's name is meant to mean 'air' or 'atmosphere' rather than cookie.
But then it would be Kuuki or Kuki with the accent on the u~
Maa na~
Not sure, but I think kuki's name is meant to mean 'air' or 'atmosphere' rather than cookie.
But then it would be Kuuki or Kuki with the accent on the u~
Maa na~
Last edited:
- Apr 5, 2012
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i see someone running happily after me!
- Oct 18, 2011
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- May 22, 2012
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Hello guys! Gwee here. Guess it's time to give my opinion on the contestant's pieces of work. Though my words may sound harsh at times, it is only meant to encourage you to do better and not put you down. Criticism is the best way to go to improve as long as you take the words into mind and not into heart.
Just hope my comments don't make you go (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ xD Here I go:
Overall, I enjoyed this competition very much. If I sounded harsh, it is due to how I’ve been taught when annotating people’s work and marking other’s work. My apologies if I offended anyone. I can say it's been a fun experience being a judge *haha*! I wouldn't mind being one again if there happens to be another contest but who knows, I may decide to enter instead at the time *eheheh*. Thank you everyone who participated in the contest. Thank you viewers and to the people who gave out your votes.Thank you to all the new members that gave out your time to vote. Most of all that you Rennie (Renano) ojou-sama for the fun experience. It's has been a fun ride. I hope to see more people entering the next contest. ^^
Just hope my comments don't make you go (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ xD Here I go:
First up we have Kami onii-chan:
Presentation 2/5
Drawing skill 3/5
Creativity 3/5
Composition 4/5
Task (or Topic) 3/5
Overall 15/25
A good attempt at something different from what the others might do. The first things that grab my attention when I look at this are the eyes. The eyes lead towards the mouth which is where the placement of one of two chopsticks happen to be. This has a good flow and gives off the idea that it is meant to be seductive. On first glance the thing that I would want to look for first would be the chopsticks. As the chopsticks were not dark enough they did not gather my attention first. So I feel that the chopsticks were not the centre of topic in this piece. Though the composition of your work is good, the shading on the hair is of the same contrast as the chopsticks themselves, making it less likely for the viewer to notice the chopsticks unless they follow the flow from the eyes.
I know that the chopsticks were meant to be what we focus on talking about, but I must also mention that the eyes are slightly off, whether if it’s because of the proportion or I find the eyes to be wonky or due to the angle of the shot. The lines I think need to be sharper to give the figure more appeal. The chest is slightly higher than usual and the right nipple is off. The left breast is also too close to the shoulder. To bring life to your work, there needs to be more shading on certain areas of the image. However you've captured the basic outline of the image which is good despite the lack of shading. The music compliments your style of work very well.
I will list ways you can improve this:
-From my observation it looked like either a blunt pencil was used or the piece had been zoomed in. Therefore you can make the outline of your piece sharper by using a sharpened pencil.
-Shading is key to bringing your work to life as it displays which direction the light is facing the character. From the looks of your work, it would be under the breast(s), between the neck and chin, beneath the fringe, and some areas of the shoulder. If you are going to shade, make it light so that it doesn’t stand out more than the chopstick hairpieces themselves.
-Either darken the shade of the chopsticks. The shading in the eyes are fine but you would need less so that the focus is on the chopsticks.
-The alternative you could go for instead of shading would, of course, be using colour. With the right pencils, colour can be blended together to give the picture texture. Little note: Did you know that greens and blues actually make up the colours of our flesh?
-The other chopstick doesn't stand out as much as not all of it is shown. Since the brief wanted the chopstick as a hairpiece, maybe you could have drawn the image with one chopstick already on the top of her hair with one hand holding it in place, and the other hand getting ready to remove the chopstick in her mouth to add more appeal.
-To fit the image given by the song as well, it would have better if you took multiple shots of this picture on different areas to add to her appeal. Despite my criticism I believe you did very well for your first time piece. Your work shows promise. Once again, a good effort kami. Thank you for your participation.
Presentation 2/5
Drawing skill 3/5
Creativity 3/5
Composition 4/5
Task (or Topic) 3/5
Overall 15/25
A good attempt at something different from what the others might do. The first things that grab my attention when I look at this are the eyes. The eyes lead towards the mouth which is where the placement of one of two chopsticks happen to be. This has a good flow and gives off the idea that it is meant to be seductive. On first glance the thing that I would want to look for first would be the chopsticks. As the chopsticks were not dark enough they did not gather my attention first. So I feel that the chopsticks were not the centre of topic in this piece. Though the composition of your work is good, the shading on the hair is of the same contrast as the chopsticks themselves, making it less likely for the viewer to notice the chopsticks unless they follow the flow from the eyes.
I know that the chopsticks were meant to be what we focus on talking about, but I must also mention that the eyes are slightly off, whether if it’s because of the proportion or I find the eyes to be wonky or due to the angle of the shot. The lines I think need to be sharper to give the figure more appeal. The chest is slightly higher than usual and the right nipple is off. The left breast is also too close to the shoulder. To bring life to your work, there needs to be more shading on certain areas of the image. However you've captured the basic outline of the image which is good despite the lack of shading. The music compliments your style of work very well.
I will list ways you can improve this:
-From my observation it looked like either a blunt pencil was used or the piece had been zoomed in. Therefore you can make the outline of your piece sharper by using a sharpened pencil.
-Shading is key to bringing your work to life as it displays which direction the light is facing the character. From the looks of your work, it would be under the breast(s), between the neck and chin, beneath the fringe, and some areas of the shoulder. If you are going to shade, make it light so that it doesn’t stand out more than the chopstick hairpieces themselves.
-Either darken the shade of the chopsticks. The shading in the eyes are fine but you would need less so that the focus is on the chopsticks.
-The alternative you could go for instead of shading would, of course, be using colour. With the right pencils, colour can be blended together to give the picture texture. Little note: Did you know that greens and blues actually make up the colours of our flesh?
-The other chopstick doesn't stand out as much as not all of it is shown. Since the brief wanted the chopstick as a hairpiece, maybe you could have drawn the image with one chopstick already on the top of her hair with one hand holding it in place, and the other hand getting ready to remove the chopstick in her mouth to add more appeal.
-To fit the image given by the song as well, it would have better if you took multiple shots of this picture on different areas to add to her appeal. Despite my criticism I believe you did very well for your first time piece. Your work shows promise. Once again, a good effort kami. Thank you for your participation.
Next in line is Vietx2k.
presentation 4/5
Drawing skill N/A
Creativity 5/5
Composition 4/5
Task/Topic 3/5
Overall 16/20*1.25=20/25
A very modern take on the brief. It is something I would call a contemporary type of art. I am given the impression that this is a story of a plush-doll and the way it uses it's chopstick hairpieces in its life. As you can see each different shot taken shows the movement of time for the plush-doll. Adding dialogue to your piece, is a nice take-on on humour. The chopsticks served their purpose, as the hairpiece and as cutleries, as well as being items that you use to 'hunt' for your own food. I like the use of incorporating many things into your idea. The music goes surprisingly well with the flow of the story. It makes even hunting seem like a fun thing to do in life.
Now to start with the areas that make this go downhill:
Though you made the chopsticks the focus in your work, I believe that the dialogue didn't focus on the chopsticks as the hairpiece itself. I also felt that the positioning of some speech bubbles could have been done better in certain areas. The same could be said with the chopsticks. I also found the pace of the story rushed towards the end.
I believe a few more shots could have been taken such as:
With the plush-doll putting back on the chopsticks on its head after using it to hunt for its meal; using the chopsticks to cook the meal; washing the chopsticks or so after use and being on the head all the time; the preparation of the meal; etc. Though I'm not sure, but was the chicken you're eating meant to be the wing of Gundam? If so, it might have been a better idea had you taken out the Gundam from the second last shot. Also by taking extra shots, it would go better with the length of the song. Focusing on the minor details will make your work much better.
In case anyone was wondering:
As Viet had a taken a different out-take on the topic I left out the result on his drawing skill. To make up for this I gave him a x1.25 multiplier to give him a rating out of 25 like the other contestants. A strong contender, thank you for your participation Viet.
presentation 4/5
Drawing skill N/A
Creativity 5/5
Composition 4/5
Task/Topic 3/5
Overall 16/20*1.25=20/25
A very modern take on the brief. It is something I would call a contemporary type of art. I am given the impression that this is a story of a plush-doll and the way it uses it's chopstick hairpieces in its life. As you can see each different shot taken shows the movement of time for the plush-doll. Adding dialogue to your piece, is a nice take-on on humour. The chopsticks served their purpose, as the hairpiece and as cutleries, as well as being items that you use to 'hunt' for your own food. I like the use of incorporating many things into your idea. The music goes surprisingly well with the flow of the story. It makes even hunting seem like a fun thing to do in life.
Now to start with the areas that make this go downhill:
Though you made the chopsticks the focus in your work, I believe that the dialogue didn't focus on the chopsticks as the hairpiece itself. I also felt that the positioning of some speech bubbles could have been done better in certain areas. The same could be said with the chopsticks. I also found the pace of the story rushed towards the end.
I believe a few more shots could have been taken such as:
With the plush-doll putting back on the chopsticks on its head after using it to hunt for its meal; using the chopsticks to cook the meal; washing the chopsticks or so after use and being on the head all the time; the preparation of the meal; etc. Though I'm not sure, but was the chicken you're eating meant to be the wing of Gundam? If so, it might have been a better idea had you taken out the Gundam from the second last shot. Also by taking extra shots, it would go better with the length of the song. Focusing on the minor details will make your work much better.
In case anyone was wondering:
As Viet had a taken a different out-take on the topic I left out the result on his drawing skill. To make up for this I gave him a x1.25 multiplier to give him a rating out of 25 like the other contestants. A strong contender, thank you for your participation Viet.
Next up is samyeung46:
Presentation 5/5
Drawing Skill 5/5
Creativity 4/5
Composition 5/5
Task/Topic 5/5
Overall 24/25
A very detailed piece of work. Traditional. The shading gives off the feeling that the setting is taking place in the dark, a place with very shallow lighting. I can see that you tried to darken the chopsticks, but it isn't enough in my opinion. There were equally just as much things I could see that were just as dark as the hairpieces, such as the edges of the kimono and the lamp. The dragon in my opinion blends in very well. The light tones give the impression that it is not meant to be noticed but at the same time makes the hairpiece above/below shine even more. Though I would love to commend you for drawing as a whole and give my criticism, the focus of the contest is meant to on the chopsticks and the hairpieces were not the first things to gather my attention.
The close-up shot (the second one) is the one I found much more better. Why? Because there is less happening in the background and I see more of a focus on the chopsticks. However the shading on the lamp still stands out much more than everything else, as much as I like it, it should be less dark as that is where the light is coming from. Much like I said for Kami onii-chan’s piece of work, maybe it would have been a good idea to make the eyes darker as well as it is very close to one of the hairpieces meaning that the eyes will be drawn to the direction of the hairpiece as a result.
Now when I look at the image with the chopstick hairpiece and the dragon I think that if you had drawn a picture of your figure similar to how you had done except while sitting down instead with the other chopstick next to her and the lamp also, and focused less on the background it would have spectacular. Having just a plain white background means all of the attention is brought onto the work instead. But you did well making the background less 'dark'.
Though I'm unsure if many people would agree with me on this but the final shot you took of your work could easily have been the winner as I find the composition of the chopstick done well and is what I see as the most darkest, which grabs my attention first.
The story. Full of content. It explains the origin of the chopsticks very well. My only problem. It's a block of text! Would have been nice if you had just used a few paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes. I was unsure about the music since I didn't watch Angel Beats and I felt that it didn't fit the atmosphere of the work. It seemed more like an insert song that would have went well with the ending of your story rather than the piece as a whole. Thank you for your participation Sam, it was a pleasure to annotate.
Presentation 5/5
Drawing Skill 5/5
Creativity 4/5
Composition 5/5
Task/Topic 5/5
Overall 24/25
A very detailed piece of work. Traditional. The shading gives off the feeling that the setting is taking place in the dark, a place with very shallow lighting. I can see that you tried to darken the chopsticks, but it isn't enough in my opinion. There were equally just as much things I could see that were just as dark as the hairpieces, such as the edges of the kimono and the lamp. The dragon in my opinion blends in very well. The light tones give the impression that it is not meant to be noticed but at the same time makes the hairpiece above/below shine even more. Though I would love to commend you for drawing as a whole and give my criticism, the focus of the contest is meant to on the chopsticks and the hairpieces were not the first things to gather my attention.
The close-up shot (the second one) is the one I found much more better. Why? Because there is less happening in the background and I see more of a focus on the chopsticks. However the shading on the lamp still stands out much more than everything else, as much as I like it, it should be less dark as that is where the light is coming from. Much like I said for Kami onii-chan’s piece of work, maybe it would have been a good idea to make the eyes darker as well as it is very close to one of the hairpieces meaning that the eyes will be drawn to the direction of the hairpiece as a result.
Now when I look at the image with the chopstick hairpiece and the dragon I think that if you had drawn a picture of your figure similar to how you had done except while sitting down instead with the other chopstick next to her and the lamp also, and focused less on the background it would have spectacular. Having just a plain white background means all of the attention is brought onto the work instead. But you did well making the background less 'dark'.
Though I'm unsure if many people would agree with me on this but the final shot you took of your work could easily have been the winner as I find the composition of the chopstick done well and is what I see as the most darkest, which grabs my attention first.
The story. Full of content. It explains the origin of the chopsticks very well. My only problem. It's a block of text! Would have been nice if you had just used a few paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes. I was unsure about the music since I didn't watch Angel Beats and I felt that it didn't fit the atmosphere of the work. It seemed more like an insert song that would have went well with the ending of your story rather than the piece as a whole. Thank you for your participation Sam, it was a pleasure to annotate.
And finally, we have SainTPrimE:
First piece Second Piece
Presentation 4/5 Presentation 3/5
Drawing skill 4/5 Drawing skill 3/5
Creativity 3/5 Creativity 3/5
Composition 4/5 Composition 2/5
Task/Topic 2/5 Task/Topic 4/5
Overall 17/25 Overall 15/25
Overall average 16/25
A good effort. The colours work really well. What strikes me at first is the balance between the dark background and the light blue on Thanatos coupled up with the orange yukata worn by the MShe which I find to be really effective. However, there's a problem which strikes me when I look at this piece, which happens to be that because of the balance of colours, it seems hard to find the right choice for the colour of the chopsticks. Though the work is good, the chopsticks don't stand out very well in this image. What you could have done was either darken the chopstick hairpiece so that they wouldn't be overshadowed by the dark background or shift the placement of the chopsticks into the upper part of the yukata as if it had been tucked in with Orpheus dangling out. Because the female main character's Orpheus is yellow/gold it is less likely to stand out. The thing that I happened to find the most strange was the lump sticking out under her left arm. Could I ask what's up with that? So far, I haven't felt that the chopstick hairpieces in this image have stood out to me due to the colours from everything else that overpowered them.
Onto the next. I felt that the second piece was slightly rushed. And I understand from the fact that you were limited in time. It might have been a really good piece had you been able to finish it on time. You choose the colours on your background well. But I think the close up shot of the chopsticks could use some work, maybe having Orpheus slightly smaller and enlarging the chopsticks themselves? Also, it might have been a good idea to add the moon from the dark hour.
As for the choice of music, wouldn't this theme fit better?
I believe it sets the mood much better but that's just my opinion. The alignment of the text could have been done better as well for both pieces of work. I can see a white line below the title. =]
Another thing you could do. Instead of colour maybe try your luck with shading? I find that the second piece you made was better that your first when it comes to focusing on the brief. Thank you for your participation in the contest too SainT.
First piece Second Piece
Presentation 4/5 Presentation 3/5
Drawing skill 4/5 Drawing skill 3/5
Creativity 3/5 Creativity 3/5
Composition 4/5 Composition 2/5
Task/Topic 2/5 Task/Topic 4/5
Overall 17/25 Overall 15/25
Overall average 16/25
A good effort. The colours work really well. What strikes me at first is the balance between the dark background and the light blue on Thanatos coupled up with the orange yukata worn by the MShe which I find to be really effective. However, there's a problem which strikes me when I look at this piece, which happens to be that because of the balance of colours, it seems hard to find the right choice for the colour of the chopsticks. Though the work is good, the chopsticks don't stand out very well in this image. What you could have done was either darken the chopstick hairpiece so that they wouldn't be overshadowed by the dark background or shift the placement of the chopsticks into the upper part of the yukata as if it had been tucked in with Orpheus dangling out. Because the female main character's Orpheus is yellow/gold it is less likely to stand out. The thing that I happened to find the most strange was the lump sticking out under her left arm. Could I ask what's up with that? So far, I haven't felt that the chopstick hairpieces in this image have stood out to me due to the colours from everything else that overpowered them.
Onto the next. I felt that the second piece was slightly rushed. And I understand from the fact that you were limited in time. It might have been a really good piece had you been able to finish it on time. You choose the colours on your background well. But I think the close up shot of the chopsticks could use some work, maybe having Orpheus slightly smaller and enlarging the chopsticks themselves? Also, it might have been a good idea to add the moon from the dark hour.
As for the choice of music, wouldn't this theme fit better?
I believe it sets the mood much better but that's just my opinion. The alignment of the text could have been done better as well for both pieces of work. I can see a white line below the title. =]
Another thing you could do. Instead of colour maybe try your luck with shading? I find that the second piece you made was better that your first when it comes to focusing on the brief. Thank you for your participation in the contest too SainT.
Overall, I enjoyed this competition very much. If I sounded harsh, it is due to how I’ve been taught when annotating people’s work and marking other’s work. My apologies if I offended anyone. I can say it's been a fun experience being a judge *haha*! I wouldn't mind being one again if there happens to be another contest but who knows, I may decide to enter instead at the time *eheheh*. Thank you everyone who participated in the contest. Thank you viewers and to the people who gave out your votes.Thank you to all the new members that gave out your time to vote. Most of all that you Rennie (Renano) ojou-sama for the fun experience. It's has been a fun ride. I hope to see more people entering the next contest. ^^
[MENTION=18465]renano[/MENTION] [MENTION=8332]samyeung46[/MENTION] [MENTION=27188]SainTPrimE[/MENTION] [MENTION=10870]Vietx2k[/MENTION] [MENTION=26209]kami-onii-chan[/MENTION]
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- Oct 18, 2011
- 149,437
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- Apr 1, 2012
- 13,518
- 958
[MENTION=27362]AhGwee[/MENTION]
Thank you for your analysis and overall criticism.
The people who participated shall take upon it as wisdom and self-motivation to improve or to reflect.
I shall place it on the front page.
Also, it is truly a pleasure to have you as a judge. You have worked hard. Please do rest.
Truthfully, I didn't expect there would be 'music' incorporated.
Because music was incorporated, it is inevitable that it must be judged along with the pieces.
Same goes for the descriptions.
Everything counts.
Thank you for your analysis and overall criticism.
The people who participated shall take upon it as wisdom and self-motivation to improve or to reflect.
I shall place it on the front page.
Also, it is truly a pleasure to have you as a judge. You have worked hard. Please do rest.
Truthfully, I didn't expect there would be 'music' incorporated.
Because music was incorporated, it is inevitable that it must be judged along with the pieces.
Same goes for the descriptions.
Everything counts.
- Oct 18, 2011
- 149,437
- 2,440
Lol im typing up whatever atm xD Blah so much for sleeping before the sun rises~ Paragraphs dun work well here :/
- Apr 5, 2012
- 14,986
- 340
- Oct 18, 2011
- 149,437
- 2,440
The tab doesnt make a little space before and there can only be one space between words so someone would have to go and put something to fill in the space at the start of a paragraph and make it white if they wanted it to be paragraph format...
Hmm yes the music... i couldnt find any single music that would fit the whole thing... i suppose i shouldve just used two then xD
Hmm i do think that the hand with the chopstick is the focus of sorts in the image... the focus would probably be the hand --> lamp --> dragon then back to the hand... Everything else does have a draw of sorts but those three are the strongest i feel~
Actually i noticed that she was somewhat far from the table too... Wanted to move the table closer but also didnt want to since i had already drawn quite a lot of background >.<
As for block of text... well yeah xD Ojou sama pointed that out too so i sort of tried to change it to some extent... on my post anyway :/
Hmm yes the music... i couldnt find any single music that would fit the whole thing... i suppose i shouldve just used two then xD
Hmm i do think that the hand with the chopstick is the focus of sorts in the image... the focus would probably be the hand --> lamp --> dragon then back to the hand... Everything else does have a draw of sorts but those three are the strongest i feel~
Actually i noticed that she was somewhat far from the table too... Wanted to move the table closer but also didnt want to since i had already drawn quite a lot of background >.<
As for block of text... well yeah xD Ojou sama pointed that out too so i sort of tried to change it to some extent... on my post anyway :/
- Oct 18, 2011
- 149,437
- 2,440
- May 22, 2012
- 16,379
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Thanks Decal.
Mmmm I happy to hear your thoughts on your work Sam. I shall take that into mind when I look at it again. I did feel that the hairpiece that she was holding was meant to be the focus, but I couldn't exactly see that with areas that are of equal darkness. When an outsider looks at the work for the first time, they are drawn to the area that is the most darkest, which happens to be the edges of the lamp in my opinion.
From another point of view, it can be seen that the lamp is actually the starting point of your work and the shadows left by it are the indication of the direction that one's eye will follow.
Mmm...sister took my camera and she won't be back until the weekend. Bad start for me already...
Mmmm I happy to hear your thoughts on your work Sam. I shall take that into mind when I look at it again. I did feel that the hairpiece that she was holding was meant to be the focus, but I couldn't exactly see that with areas that are of equal darkness. When an outsider looks at the work for the first time, they are drawn to the area that is the most darkest, which happens to be the edges of the lamp in my opinion.
From another point of view, it can be seen that the lamp is actually the starting point of your work and the shadows left by it are the indication of the direction that one's eye will follow.
Mmm...sister took my camera and she won't be back until the weekend. Bad start for me already...
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Hello would be plausible to get reup mexashare for this. all other links are dead too.
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hello do you have the latest version which they remake the model from the 9-15-2016 ver of this game ? Thanks alot
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ126541.html
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ126541.html
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Hi, can you kindly reupload this?
https://www.anime-sharing.com/threa...トウキョウ・ネクロ＞-suicide-mission-デジタルアーカイブ.1404307/
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