The Wrong Answers to the World's Questions.

[Rain Summerfields]

Van Gogh.

He has a quiet brilliance about his work.

Why planes and why fly?

 

[Leggy]

Just the way it worked out. While the Wright Brothers were inventing the airplane, Nikola Tesla was working on a practical teleportation device.

Unfortunately, during testing, Tesla's lab assistants would turn it on and vanish, never to be seen again.

After losing 43 lab assistants, Tesla gave up, and sold the device to the military as a death ray.


Why do gerbils eat carrots?

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

What foolishness have you been reading? Gerbils dont eat carrots! They eat... what do they eat anyway? Tomatoes?

Why would anyone ever think of pizza as a veggie?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

Because veggies are easier on the eyes and have a vibrant
satisfaction when eaten.

Evil laughter rings out in the hallways, what will you do?

 

[Dark Angel]

i thinks it's just fine

why we can't eliminate franky?

 

[Leggy]

Ewwww!!! Let Franky do his own "business."

Should pillows be allowed to marry bed sheets?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

Marriage is a unity of souls and bed sheets and pillows are incompatible.

When it is darkest, you can see the stars?

 

[Leggy]

The papparazi don't have a problem, they use night cameras.

Are Tootsie Rolls dangerous, and why?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

They have a vibe of alien in them and should never be eaten.
Less your stomach caves in.

Can you hear the sound of thunder, as I raise my axe to the high heavens?

 

[Leggy]

If your ex didn't like it, yeah... thunder would be a proper response.

Ohhhh... axe, not ex... nevermind.


Which weighs more, a pound of manga or a pound of light novels?

 

[Sintarow]

A pound of light novels because they are give extra weight for the feels.

Why is there fire wood, and not water wood?

 

[Leggy]

Ahhh yes, that brings up the philosophical discussion of of the nature of flora vs fauna, vis-a-vis the wood, as opposed to the woodchuck.
The basic debate revolves around the conundrum, "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
Fantasy and science fiction enthusiasts give creedence to the answer "42" although only one author is cited.
Naturalists seek to make the woodchuck an endangered species, so that a woodchuck could chuck an unlimited amount without being hunted to extinction.
Biologists question the woodchuck's ability to chuck wood.
Politicians try to regulate the amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck.
This author's personal conclusion is best stated as the following: If a woodchuck could chuck wood, a woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Naturally, this conclusion is held in abeyance pending further confirmation.

One documentary addresses this exact question:

What the heck was the original topic?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

I believe in SATAN. That is all.
Why was my answer so short?

 

[Sintarow]

Because your beard is long and something has to be short.

Why do candles melt?

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Because Tom ordered them to. Steve tried to save them, but the force of their fighting blew apart the candles anyway =/

Why do fruits have seeds?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

the seeds of the dead lie in all fruit is why.

One way to hell, or two ways to heaven?

 

[Leggy]

Heaven and Hell... hmmm... I always live each day as if it will be my last...

Which is why I don't wear clean clothes, and my house is a mess. 'Cause really, who wants to do a bunch of washing and cleaning on the last day of your life.




Why are rainbows funny?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

Because all the colours give off an unnatural high and
so, commit acts of violence through grandeur visions.

Why is Sweden a cool country?

 

[Leggy]

They leave their windows open.


Was Nat King Cole also a merry soul?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

He was unmerry and alone all his days, until the reaper came and absorbed him into the dead fold.

Why is vinegar a good substitute for spices?

 

[Leggy]

Actually, Vinegar Spice was no where near as popular as Scary Spice.


How long does it take to do something quickly?

 

[Rain Summerfields]

When the owl hoots its final hoot.
may be the task be done.

How many errors in a common/everyday essay?

 

[Sintarow]

One, and that error is starting the essay and not eating ice cream.

Why is there so much sugar in ice cream?

 

[Leggy]

The biggest error in modern essays is forgetting to pin a $50 bill to it, so the teacher will give it an A. If you'll settle for a B you can use a $20.


If war is the failure of politics, what is the failure of acting?


Edit: Sin types faster than me. :(

 

[Sintarow]

The failure of acting is smacking, and that's because those two are like rhymes, and it confuses people and they end up doing nothing.

Why does a clock have hands and a face, but no body or feet?