[Discussions] WOW #4 - June 2016

[Leggy]

[MENTION=65000]ancer_nyaa[/MENTION]; Nice slice of life story!

Awesome entry! It was pleasant to read. Most short stories, not excluding ones I've written myself, tend to focus on characters and build plots around them. Yours makes use of this certain style that from the outset defines the focus of the story, but then goes around and around, putting pieces that slowly form a cascade of events. In this case, the pieces aren't necessary part of a puzzle, but they line up together in an orderly manner nonetheless.

I guess I can see why this kind of writing style isn't very common in short stories; it's pretty much the recipe for a legend or a fairytale or any other "they say..." kind of story. I don't know if it was the generous use of line breaks, but I could feel the length in your story (not necessarily in a negative way―1500 words are nothing anyway, comparatively speaking).

Thanks! Yes, the vignettes are not a puzzle, but an orderly procession to the finale.

You're comment on feeling the length in the story is spot on. After I finished, I realized I have the nucleus for a much longer story, possibly even a novel, based around several vignettes. The last two lines leave the door open for more to come.

 

[Ignis]

Thanks! Yes, the vignettes are not a puzzle, but an orderly procession to the finale.

You're comment on feeling the length in the story is spot on. After I finished, I realized I have the nucleus for a much longer story, possibly even a novel, based around several vignettes. The last two lines leave the door open for more to come.

Ah, yes, vignettes. I hadn't thought of that word when I tried describing my view of your story and its structure.

Yes, while your story may seem complete here, it's only "complete" in the sense of a legend, not a fairytale where the villains die and the Good Guys™ live happily ever after. There remain events to be interpreted by the reader or expanded upon by the writer. In a larger story, the entirety of your entry here may serve only to provide but a background story, like how so many stories start with character A reading to character B a legend/fairytale/ancient tale of sorts as character B's bedtime story.

 

[Ignis]

There's a little bump in this month's ride―KK just informed me that due to personal reasons she'll be on hiatus for a while. She asked me to "freeze" the writing contest, but I'd like some input beforehand. So, a simple yet pointed question: should the WOW keep going?

I have no problem at all keeping it going. I can overtake KK's role and run the contest. It's something we started together and I can assure you I'm fully in touch with all its intricacies. However, I also acknowledge that writing (especially with restrictions like themes and word limits) isn't exactly easy nor for everyone. While I'll keep to my word and keep this sweet small competition going if that's what people would like, it'll also be pretty sad if we get no entries (not saying that's ever happened; just an if).

I've added a poll to the thread. If this matters to you, please cast a vote and/or give some input. While we're at it, if you'd like to keep it going but there are things you'd like changed, like the rules or word limits or theme ideas whatever, please do speak up. I welcome any input.

Some mentions... [MENTION=35259]Leggy[/MENTION]; [MENTION=65000]ancer_nyaa[/MENTION]; [MENTION=125499]8Laelia8[/MENTION]; [MENTION=125617]Gamerguy[/MENTION]; [MENTION=8332]samyeung46[/MENTION]; [MENTION=122350]Velenora[/MENTION]; [MENTION=97625]JaxxBlaxx[/MENTION]; [MENTION=87]Frankincense[/MENTION]; [MENTION=116555]Rain Summerfields[/MENTION]; [MENTION=21095]pingtoryan[/MENTION]; [MENTION=126035]Holler[/MENTION]; [MENTION=93615]aienma[/MENTION];

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Hmm... I would suggest lowering the min line count to 3 since people cant write traditional Haiku otherwise..~ Not sure if there are any forms of poetry which use less...

 

[Frankincense]

Eh. I haven't been checking the writing competition though. How many entries have we been having per month? If we have at least 6 or 7 entries every month then I say we keep it. I like having it around even if I can't participate in the near future.

BTW, about the poll, I think there's no need to take people who answer no into account. People who don't participate won't lose anything by the competition existing.

No problem about restrictions.

 

[pingtoryan]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; I recall you did solo it the first time around...if you think you can keep doing it, then keep it.

I must say though, it's not exactly easy getting together a piece, even a small one. Your thought of "no entires" may well become a self-fulfilling prophecy at some point down the road, because writing under a theme is not very easy, and not all people can relate to it enough to crank a piece out.

As for me, I'm all for its continued existence...if it is possible, that is.

 

[Ignis]

Thanks for the replies!

Hmm... I would suggest lowering the min line count to 3 since people cant write traditional Haiku otherwise..~ Not sure if there are any forms of poetry which use less...

Ohh, a really good point. Haiku really slipped my mind when I started the round when we were receiving poems for the first time. I made the minimum 4 because I thought that'd be the typical amount for a stanza. Thanks for bringing this up. Will have a minimum of 3 starting from the next round.

Eh. I haven't been checking the writing competition though. How many entries have we been having per month? If we have at least 6 or 7 entries every month then I say we keep it. I like having it around even if I can't participate in the near future.

BTW, about the poll, I think there's no need to take people who answer no into account. People who don't participate won't lose anything by the competition existing.

No problem about restrictions.

Five for all three finished rounds (the second round had six, but one was an incomplete entry that the participant decided to abandon because they didn't have the time to complete it). Three so far for the current round. Personally, I think that's enough to keep it going, too.

Good point about the poll. Though, I'd still like to hear if people would rather discontinue the WOW and have something else. For example, when I and KK were first drafting this, we were planning to have two separate contests―one for writings and another for poems. I told KK to go ahead with the writing contest first and see how much interest there'd be before running a poem contest (we both thought poems would be more difficult and thus garner less interest). We ended up just receiving both poems and writings in the same contest.

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; I recall you did solo it the first time around...if you think you can keep doing it, then keep it.

I must say though, it's not exactly easy getting together a piece, even a small one. Your thought of "no entires" may well become a self-fulfilling prophecy at some point down the road, because writing under a theme is not very easy, and not all people can relate to it enough to crank a piece out.

As for me, I'm all for its continued existence...if it is possible, that is.

Not quite―I only took over temporarily because KK had pressing matters to attend to. She was still the person in charge :) But, yes, I can keep it going provided there's still interest.

You're right about a negative thought that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's what I'd like to avoid. Though, on the subject of themes, do you people think it'd be easier to have no theme? Like, just write whatever poem or short story you want as long as it conforms with the restrictions (mainly on the chosen topic―no hot-button issues and such―and word limit)? If so, sure! I have no problem with that. I just think having a theme may actually help if people want to write but aren't sure what to write about.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I also acknowledge that writing (especially with restrictions like themes and word limits) isn't exactly easy nor for everyone. While I'll keep to my word and keep this sweet small competition going if that's what people would like, it'll also be pretty sad if we get no entries (not saying that's ever happened; just an if).

I know the feeling of being restricted of the themes and word counts (especially for this month's theme since I have no friends) but if that limits is taken off it will be harder for both participants and the host since some might write over 5000 words and the host have to read such long thing no matter how interesting the piece is.

I suggest to keep the same system. To compare WoW to SOTM, nobody can use photoshop or other photo editing decently (pointing at myself). I guess we should try to keep it for a while because it might just be a slow start since this is just the fourth month.

For the no themes idea, I honestly don't know the result if it was implemented but I think having a test run would be good...I think.

In conclusion, I will submit one every month because I enjoy it even though I never win but its not about winning. It benefits me and my writing skills even though it doesn't show much improvement for these past months.


P.S. I would like to have a theme about exams so I can make a story hating exams that I cannot not study for.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I decided to review [MENTION=21095]pingtoryan[/MENTION]'s story. So here it is

Spoiler: Disclaimer: Please don't be offended

More descriptions, five senses:

I like the way it started but it needed more descriptions especially when he was running. What did he feel when he was running, was the wind cold, hot or just in the middle. Add the five sense in it. However, do not think to put all five senses every time, just pick the one that makes it pop out. Sometimes some senses are not necessary.

“Backstabbers” I replied, bluntly.

Comma doesn't have to be there. Not being a grammar nazi since I am guilty of not having a decent grammar.

Getting befriended only to have them backstab you, you tend to remember it for quite some time…teenage…teenagers…

might just be me but this sounded weird. It might be the "you"s or the teenage part.

just how much of my pa’s

I am sorry this is just my lack of knowledge but what is "pa's"? I'll take it as father. Yes, it is father. (I was reading while writing this)

“See? Now that’s one good experience with friendship. Surely you can start over this time”.
“I thought of seeking revenge at first…after all these years, now I’ve almost completely forgotten about it. Surely I can start over here at your place…”
“That should be one of your purpose…but your main purpose here is something else, am I right?”
“It is true…but getting re-acquainted with friendship might as well be a first step towards that main purpose…”
“Go for it then. There is no hurry with my favor, so take your time”.

Dialogue tags are needed because sometimes it is sometimes harder to guess who is talking. Adding, things after most dialogues makes it more fleshed out.

nor is her

Nor is she would be the phrase. Not in a grammar sense, just by the way it sounded to me.

There are minor mistakes that doesn't ruin the enjoyment. e.g.

He had some really good friends before he ran into those bad experiences. I didn’t.

At the end, I recommend to have a comma instead of a period. Another suggestion would be to have "・・・" for something dramatic...I think.

i did not point out a lot of the minor ones since I did not mind it because I do that a lot and if I do, that would make me a hypocrite Once again, it did not ruin the reading flow.

The word limit is 1500, take advantage of it.


Over all, it is entertaining. I would like more context and names for characters. The beginning had a mysterious feeling on it by having a lack of knowledge on the characters but having that continue through out is not recommended. I do like that it would be a dog, I did not expect it. Your diction is decent and the tone is there.

Thank you for reading this block of words

 

[Renzo]

Hello, can I join the fray?
Actually, I had already written some, but perhaps too shy to publish it. I think everyone may review it before I publish it in the entries' section. (I'm on my last day of final exam, so I plan to give last spurt on the writing before the deadline).

 

[ancer_nyaa]

Hello, can I join the fray?

Do it. Just Do It!!!!
or not, your choice

 

[Ignis]

I know the feeling of being restricted of the themes and word counts (especially for this month's theme since I have no friends) but if that limits is taken off it will be harder for both participants and the host since some might write over 5000 words and the host have to read such long thing no matter how interesting the piece is.

Word limit is something we decided because we were considering a public voting system like the SOTM. But, to be honest, I'm still not confident about it. Even the SOTM gets very few votes nowadays (some of which are from the participants). I'm afraid having a public voting process for writings may garner a low amount of votes and appreciation as the would-be voters would need to read through all the entries first.

That leaves us to the judging system we've done so far, which is the host's responsibility. The host is me. You don't need to worry about me. 1000 words, 5000 words, over 9000 words, I'll eat them all. Of course, the longer the entries are, the more time it'll take for me to appraise them, but that's fine by me if having no word limit makes it easier to would-be participants.

P.S. I would like to have a theme about exams so I can make a story hating exams that I cannot not study for.

Sounds like it could make for some funny entries, though I think it may be a bit limiting. Perhaps make it something more generic but still relates to exams. A "test of mettle", for example. Whether it involves a pen or a sword is up to the writer.

But that's if we do have a theme. I'm still not conclusive on this. Would y'all like to try a round with no theme? 'Course, I can give suggestions for those wanting to write but don't know what to write if we do have such a round.

Oh, and since being meta is hip and all, I'll review ancer's review of pingtoryan's story. :P Gonna touch on only two points, though:

Spoiler

Getting befriended only to have them backstab you, you tend to remember it for quite some time…teenage…teenagers…

might just be me but this sounded weird. It might be the "you"s or the teenage part.

It's called a "generic you". It's a valid, if often colloquial, use of the word in English.

He had some really good friends before he ran into those bad experiences. I didn’t.

At the end, I recommend to have a comma instead of a period. Another suggestion would be to have "・・・" for something dramatic...I think.

Those two sentences are independent sentences with their own independent clauses. The first is a compound sentence comprising the clauses "[h]e had some really good friends" and "he ran into those bad experiences". The word "before" serves as a connector to merge the two clauses into one sentence. The second sentence has only one independent clause (the entire sentence) and a different subject ("I" instead of "he"). It can't be merged with the first one using a comma. You have to use either a full stop (.) or a semicolon (;) between the two sentences.

Hello, can I join the fray?
Actually, I had already written some, but perhaps too shy to publish it. I think everyone may review it before I publish it in the entries' section. (I'm on my last day of final exam, so I plan to give last spurt on the writing before the deadline).

Sure! It's open to all members. If you'd like some comments and criticism before you enter it, feel free to post your entry here first and we'll see what we can do. There's still some time before the 30th. (Also, I tend to measure time by EST, so you're going to have some extra hours unless you live in the same part of the world.)

Thanks for participating pingtoryan and [MENTION=127318]srebro[/MENTION]; a letter-like piece like that has a pretty unique feel to it :)

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I should review someone's piece every time so I learn more things. Thanks for the review of a review.

I honestly reviewed it because I had no one to talk it with and not because I am totally lonely.


I was joking about the exams theme but I'll take anything related to it.
Also, I am up for a no theme just for a test run. I feel a bit worried since I don't have the hosts...Ignis' hand to help me with a theme.

If you feel like teaching an English class in Anime-Sharing, I would be the first one to come in since I ignored all my english classes in high school. I do regret it

 

[Velenora]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; I'll definitely participate in any future WOWs that I can, since I quite like the idea of writing competitions and the challenge it presents regarding the theme. However, if KK would prefer to stop WOW until she comes back I have no objections. Whatever decision is made, I'll support it :)

Not the most helpful post since it's just a big 'I don't mind' from me, sorry.

 

[srebro]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; thanks for your comments about my penned short letter piece. I've actually resubmitted a short story instead.

In terms of WOW I wouldn't consider removing this section so as to not stifle creativity and to encourage potential writers to express themselves. Perhaps it may be an option to hold WOW quarterly or twice yearly, you'll have more time to read and assess works and writers have more time to put effort into their writing.

I would hope that when I have more time, I would recommend AS hold a drawing, doujin, animation competition. Members can vote and showcase there skills and talent. Who knows we all might work together in the future to make a Visual Novel or what not.

And to add perhaps more custom awards and maybe we can have a winners blog to accompany the winner's piece. Whereby the the winner writes a little memo or something about their piece and how others should interpret it?

 

[JaxxBlaxx]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; KK's hiatus will be a loss, but personally I think that WOW is a good idea and other members are joining it too. It's definitely a nice thing to be able to write for fun and improve my writing skills too. I feel that it's better for WOW to continue going, but if KK feels otherwise, I'll also respect her wishes.

As for the themes thing, I'd like to suggest something like writing a story by continuing a given sentence (though it'll be hard to apply this for poems and other forms of poetry so it may not be necessarily a good idea now that I think about it).

I've been pretty much offline here due to Anime-sharing being blocked in my country and also me having writer's block and being lazy but I'm still hoping to join WOW in the future ^^

 

[Ignis]

I should review someone's piece every time so I learn more things. Thanks for the review of a review.

Glad to have helped. I'd rather not mouth off and criticise someone else's work when not asked to, but I agree that it can help in various ways (even if you just keep your criticisms to yourself). If nothing else, I'd say it makes you more thorough.

Also, I am up for a no theme just for a test run. I feel a bit worried since I don't have the hosts...Ignis' hand to help me with a theme.

If you feel like teaching an English class in Anime-Sharing, I would be the first one to come in since I ignored all my english classes in high school. I do regret it

It's not like I won't help if we do have a free theme! If anyone needs my suggestions on anything, I'll only be too happy to oblige. If you'd like to enter but don't know what to write about, I can suggest themes, settings, and maybe even character designs.

I don't think I can teach an English "class" here, but I'll take that as a compliment. :) Of course, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask and I'll see if I can answer in (hopefully) simple enough terms. I'll warn, however, that I'm not a native English speaker. But I'll do what I can.

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; I'll definitely participate in any future WOWs that I can, since I quite like the idea of writing competitions and the challenge it presents regarding the theme. However, if KK would prefer to stop WOW until she comes back I have no objections. Whatever decision is made, I'll support it :)

Not the most helpful post since it's just a big 'I don't mind' from me, sorry.

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; KK's hiatus will be a loss, but personally I think that WOW is a good idea and other members are joining it too. It's definitely a nice thing to be able to write for fun and improve my writing skills too. I feel that it's better for WOW to continue going, but if KK feels otherwise, I'll also respect her wishes.

Hey, don't mind it, Vel. When I said I welcome all input, I did mean it, and yours isn't less valuable than others'. :)

I'm sorry if the way I said it was confusing, but it's not that KK wants me to actually stop the contest. She said "we can just" stop it. Being the kind person she is, I took that to mean she'd rather not burden me with it since she's supposed to be in charge and all. I, however, don't mind. It's something I like and would sure love to see grow. I was just worried about the rate of interest, but looks like I don't need to worry about that any more!

As for the themes thing, I'd like to suggest something like writing a story by continuing a given sentence (though it'll be hard to apply this for poems and other forms of poetry so it may not be necessarily a good idea now that I think about it).

I've been pretty much offline here due to Anime-sharing being blocked in my country and also me having writer's block and being lazy but I'm still hoping to join WOW in the future ^^

That's a neat idea, methinks. I've been to various forums and seen games like "three-word story" or variations thereof, where members write three words in each post and try to make a story (of course, it tends to end up funny and quirky instead, but that's also its charm). Not sure if I've seen such a thread here, though. Some help, [MENTION=8332]samyeung46[/MENTION]; since you're the indisputable spam veteran?

Also... blocks suck, in both contexts of the use of the word, and I can relate. I hope things will get better soon.

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; thanks for your comments about my penned short letter piece. I've actually resubmitted a short story instead.

Wait, did you change the entry and then withdraw altogether? That's such a waste...

I would hope that when I have more time, I would recommend AS hold a drawing, doujin, animation competition. Members can vote and showcase there skills and talent. Who knows we all might work together in the future to make a Visual Novel or what not.

And to add perhaps more custom awards and maybe we can have a winners blog to accompany the winner's piece. Whereby the the winner writes a little memo or something about their piece and how others should interpret it?

There's been an attempt to create a visual novel in the past, though I didn't follow it very closely. I think it eventually became inactive, which sadly isn't unexpected. Having more contests is possible if there's enough interest. A drawing contest sure sounds nice, though I'm not sure how many potential participants we'd have. It may cater to even fewer people than writing does.

I'd love to have better awards too, yes. But, as I'm sure our long-time members have heard multiple times, it's something we've been planning for years now to have alongside a new, better award system. We just haven't been able to work on it (and we keep having less free time as more years go by). It's not something I'm proud to say over and over again, but it's the sad state of affairs. Maybe not a blog, though. We avoided integrating a blog with the forum when we could because it'd put considerable, unnecessary burden on the servers.

It's not like such games and contests are limited to staff-managed ones either! Our beloved liaison, renano (who sadly is inactive nowadays), has made a bunch of fun games in the past (check out some of them among her threads) and has never failed to rouse the interest of others.

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

[MENTION=97625]JaxxBlaxx[/MENTION]; I think there are two variants on the three word story game
Well.. I found three.. but the last one never really got off the ground... There might be others that I missed as well

http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/forum-games-98/[game]-4-word-story-26595/
http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/forum-games-98/[game]-5-word-story-117787/
http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/forum-games-98/continue-story-[probably-fun-o_o]-366877/

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I don't think I can teach an English "class" here, but I'll take that as a compliment. :) Of course, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask and I'll see if I can answer in (hopefully) simple enough terms. I'll warn, however, that I'm not a native English speaker. But I'll do what I can.

But, only but if you somehow change your mind and have a weekly or monthly english class. I would be there. I promise you. Terms are not something I am decent at.

 

[srebro]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; thanks for the guilt trip.

I turned the letter into a story this time...no sweat

 

[Ignis]

But, only but if you somehow change your mind and have a weekly or monthly english class. I would be there. I promise you. Terms are not something I am decent at.

Well, the problem with a "class" is that I'd need to have some sort of a curriculum. I don't know what you already know; I don't know what you don't know; I don't know what you'd like to know. Besides, having a "class" here on a subject as universal as the English language would confer a smug image on myself―something I'd rather not have. ;)

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; thanks for the guilt trip.

I turned the letter into a story this time...no sweat

You're very welcome. （　｀ー´）

It's much better than before, too! It's got that bittersweet feeling similar to black coffee I tend to fall for in romantic themes.

 

[Velenora]

Hey, don't mind it, Vel. When I said I welcome all input, I did mean it, and yours isn't less valuable than others'. :)

I'm sorry if the way I said it was confusing, but it's not that KK wants me to actually stop the contest. She said "we can just" stop it. Being the kind person she is, I took that to mean she'd rather not burden me with it since she's supposed to be in charge and all. I, however, don't mind. It's something I like and would sure love to see grow. I was just worried about the rate of interest, but looks like I don't need to worry about that any more!

Thank you, that's nice of you to say :)

Oh! In that case, I'm totally all for keeping WOW up and running! (´∀｀*)

 

[srebro]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; I brang out the inner girl in me for this particular piece so I'll be looking forward to your *cough* biased *cough* feedback...

(btw.. how do I cross out words like you did in your previous post )

With the stuff about the VN, I’ll try resurrect it from the grave when I have more time and I’ll also check out renano’s threads after I finish my exams.
[MENTION=59238]Renzo[/MENTION]; I think you should join the fray, would like to read your piece about what friendship is to you

 

[Ignis]

[MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; I brang out the inner girl in me for this particular piece so I'll be looking forward to your *cough* biased *cough* feedback...

(btw.. how do I cross out words like you did in your previous post )

With the stuff about the VN, I’ll try resurrect it from the grave when I have more time and I’ll also check out renano’s threads after I finish my exams.

Oh, do you happen to know about my biases? Have I ever made them public somewhere? :P All jokes aside, though, I try not to let my personal preferences (as far as stories, characters, and all related elements are concerned) sway me―at least not too much―when I critique.

Use [s][/s] to enclose the string you want crossed out. For example, [s]haidere[/s] will become haidere

As for the visual novel, some people from the original project are still around, so just consult with them, I guess. Good luck with your exams!

 

[JaxxBlaxx]

That's a neat idea, methinks. I've been to various forums and seen games like "three-word story" or variations thereof, where members write three words in each post and try to make a story (of course, it tends to end up funny and quirky instead, but that's also its charm). Not sure if I've seen such a thread here, though. Some help, [MENTION=8332]samyeung46[/MENTION]; since you're the indisputable spam veteran?

Also... blocks suck, in both contexts of the use of the word, and I can relate. I hope things will get better soon.

Thanks for the wishes :) I've seen some of those threads before (the one pointed by samyeung46); I agree with you there - they do turn out to be unexpected and outlandish plots, though they're hilarious in their own way. Well, my idea is more of many people making their writings from the same source, so it's more of 'finding out how the destinations can differ'...? (Technically, it's not my idea either, since I used to get those kinds of questions for compositions in my English exams :P)

[MENTION=97625]JaxxBlaxx[/MENTION]; I think there are two variants on the three word story game
Well.. I found three.. but the last one never really got off the ground... There might be others that I missed as well

http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/forum-games-98/[game]-4-word-story-26595/
http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/forum-games-98/[game]-5-word-story-117787/
http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/forum-games-98/continue-story-[probably-fun-o_o]-366877/

Though I've seen one of them before, I just knew that there were actually 3 of those kind of threads
The last one probably didn't really take off since it didn't really restrict on a word limit...
Anyways, thanks for the findings~